by Binodu
 
The mall is one of many homes to the people of Asia. From Singapore to Seoul, from Kowloon to Kyoto, and from Malacca to Macau, the Asian people like to mall. Not merely shop, but mall. Some places don't really have malls, but massive department stores. Some places have both. A couple of places have neither, so I won't discuss those places.
 
Now, other than the fact that they are in Asia and packed madly to the teeth with Asians, what do they have in common? That's right, you guessed it (how clever of you). Escalators. Going up, going down, going horizontally (technically moving sidewalks, but may involve grade changes). No, they don't go vertically (decidedly un-clever of you). Those are called elevators, and I'm holding out for funding before I tackle that subject.

Escalators have their own cultural identity, depending, naturally, on the country of their location. For instance, escalators in Singapore are perfect. Clean, just the right speed, no riff raff, no funny business. In Korea, half the time, the escalators are turned off. These are the IMF escalators, a measure taken to save the Korean economy by making people walk. Japanese escalators are the most polite escalators in the free world. One almost has to wonder if they are not in fact truly concerned for your personal welfare.

Taiwan, or as they say, the Republic of China, is a particularly interesting case as far as escalators go. Any time you've got a tiny island like Taiwan where the old guard thinks they are still going to "liberate" the mainland, you've got the right conditions for all manner of escalator mayhem. So, Taiwan gets to rant and rave a bit, but in reality, they don't want to get into a scrap with big bad China. That must be why Taiwan's escalators move at approximately twice the speed of any other country's escalators. These are the bullet trains of escalators. A moving target is harder to hit, so let's move as fast as the limits of science allow. Readers, please, when in Taiwan, be careful getting off and on the escalators. Bring a windbreaker. Make sure your insurance is good.

Still, there are cultural markers that extend beyond mere metal and machine - it is in fact the citizenry that compounds our interest. For the purpose of comparison, it is convenient to give as an example the characteristics of a non-Asian escalator. Now, in general, American escalators seem to move at a convenient pace for the stride of the average person. There are no hard and fast rules really, just don't knock people over. That's about it. Get on, and get off, and go about doing your thang.

Japan is by nature a very orderly society, and the escalator is no place for hooliganism. Stand on the right, right hand on the rail, left hand hanging loosely, eyes directly ahead, leaving a step between the person in front of you, unless you intend to pass. If you must, do so in a quiet and unobtrusive manner, taking care not to disturb your fellow rider.

Singapore is by law a very orderly society, and the escalator is no place for hooliganism. Any deviation from prescribed standards will be immediately and severely dealt with. Remember, Lee Kwan Yew is watching.

Korea pretends to be an orderly society, but the escalator exposes the turmoil bubbling within. Try to stand on the right side to let the people on the left pass, but you don't have to if you don't want to. Pass on the left as much as you can. Feel free to knock strangers out of the way. Important to note that the moving sidewalks at the airport are extremely slow - you will age considerably if you just ride. They may well have developed transporter technology by the time you reach your gate. Maybe they are thinking, "our brothers in the north can't aim, so creeping along is the safest bet".

Hong Kong makes no pretense what-so-ever of being an orderly society. Hooliganism is expected on the escalators, as in most public places. Feel free to knock people, friend and foe alike, off the escalator. Escalators may not be parallel with each other (the new Hong Kong Shanghai Bank), there may not be a down escalator even when two are going up, and then there is the 'Hillside Escalator Link'. This multifarious elevated monster stretches some 800 meters from Central up to the Mid-Levels. And only goes one way: down in the morning rush hour, and upwards only after 10 AM. Pity the soul who halfway down finds his direction suddenly reversed.

Malaysian escalators would like to be orderly like Singapore's, but reality is more like chaotic Hong Kong. Almost anything goes, but you might actually get caught. Don't worry so much, lah.

PM Mahatir: Let us only use Malaysian escalators! Fie on colonialists!

Taiwan, as mentioned earlier, is an island in a hurry. No need to pass, and besides, the escalators are rather narrow. Stand in the middle and take your chances getting off.

Diametrically opposed Macau has escalators, but is so laid back that it seems there isn't much use for them. If I go up, that means I will have to come back down at some point. Why bother? I'm here already.

I don't recall seeing escalators in India, and I don't yet know about the mainland Chinese variety. I'm sure the People's Escalators are very interesting. The moral of the story? Escalators are a window into the life and soul of people. We could all learn a lot about each other if we spent days on end riding the world's escalators. A mutual exchange of escalator ideas may well be the key to world peace. I'd like to take this moment to announce the inaugural World Escalator Summit (pending UN sponsorship) to be held in the summer of 1999 (WES'99) in Billund, Denmark. Ceremonies will include the unveiling of the World Friendship Escalator, built entirely out of LEGO bricks.

To finish off, I'd like to share some escalator wisdom, some things that will make all of our travels safer and more enjoyable. If we are going to use the escalator, why do we need to pass? - On the left, on the right, up (or down) the middle - why can't we just enjoy the escalator ride? A brief respite from the burdens of daily life. Take a deep breath. It's a troubled world out there for now.

Or better yet, just take the stairs. The exercise can't hurt too much.

Binodu is a mall brat, escalator junkie, and chairperson for WES'99